Category Archives: Uncategorized

Astonishingly, Purolator confirms their lazy service is company policy

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Here’s the email I got from Purolator (emphasis and comments added)

As you mentioned the driver had the package out for delivery on December 31, 2010. The driver scanned the package as Scheduled Delivery Appointment Required which is the scan that they use when unable to deliver in an apartment complex. (I was home all day and, no, nobody buzzed.)

While most drivers do take the time to look up entry codes, we do recommend that the code be included as part of the full address on the label so that the drivers do not have to look up the information on boards (uh, heaven forbid they spend the three seconds to look at the buzzer panel). We do consider this as part of the full address (you think buzzer codes are part of street addresses? You do know that’s what the buzzer panels are there for, right? to look up the code??)

If you were home at the time of the delivery and no one rang up, there are 2 possibilities. Either the code was not provided and the driver did not have looked it up or the driver made a mistake while dialing (my buzzer code is 26. Just two digits. Hard to “make a mistake” — even if they did manage to make a mistake, it’s clear now they didn’t try a second time).

I while send your comments to the local manager to follow up with their driver for future shipments. Unfortunately, we do not provide phones to the driver to call the receiver as they are under pressure and must make a delivery every few minutes.

In the past, we did leave doorknockers in apartment buildings but since we didn’t have the keys, or in some cases access, to the mailboxes, we had to leave the notes in a common area. These notices would often end up with the wrong person or the notice would be lost altogether. For this reason, we no longer leave notices but rely on the receiver’s phone number to ensure they are contacted. (Let me see if I have this straight. Because a few stickers went missing, you no longer leave notes for ANY of your customers? Seriously?)

The package was dropped off at the local retail counter on West 12th Ave, who would normally call you to advise that there was an attempted delivery and the package was now available for pick up. They indicated that the phone number had not been provided by the shipper, therefore no call was made. Before indicating this, they do look up the client’s name in Canada 411 to see if it’s listed. In these cases, we must rely on the customer to actively track their package and contact us if any issues come up. When you receive the package, please advise if the phone number was listed or not. If it was there, please send me a copy of the label and I will forward it to the retail counter management to follow up with their employee. If it was not listed, please contact the CIBC to ensure that the number is included for future shipments.

Your package is presently out for delivery with the driver and I will keep an eye out to ensure there are no problems in the meantime.

My response:

Hi,

Wow.

You’ve essentially confirmed as policy exactly what I pointed out was lousy customer service, specifically:

  • Your drivers are discouraged from looking up the buzzer number of apartments
  • You no longer even bother to leave a note or sticker advising the recipient of an attempted delivery.

Do you see how this is why I’ll never use Purolator again? I think I’ll stick with FedEx, whose drivers take the three seconds it takes to look my buzzer number up on the panel and who let me know when they’ve attempted delivery.

The Accidental Classified Ad Philanthropist

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Here’s one of my favourite stories I got to tell on the radio — the story of an accidental classifieds-ad philanthropist. (This was from my “Real Life Chronicles” documentary series that aired on Sounds Like Canada in the Spring of 2003.) 

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Software for Sale

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At the end of each year, I run through my software archives and sell off the software I don’t use any more. These are 100% original DVDs/CDs with fully functioning serial numbers.

Prices are so cheap, I’m not able to accept any haggling.

Pickup in Vancouver or add $10 (pay via PayPal) and I’ll mail it anywhere in Canada or U.S.

  • The Sims 2 + Nightlife Expansion + University Expansion!
    $20
  • iLife ‘08 (iPhoto, iWeb, iDVD, and more)
    $15
  • iLife ‘09 (iPhoto, iWeb, iDVD, and more)
    $25
  • Mac OS X Leopard
    $20
    I’ll keep this page updated so if it’s still listed, it’s still available!

    Easy YouTube Short Links

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    Following my post about how much I love keyboard shortcuts, I thought I’d create some short URLs for YouTube, since I tend to go there a lot.

    These short URLs will work for anyone who’s logged in to YouTube!

    Just type those into your browser’s address bar and it’ll take you right to those areas of your own YouTube account.

    Come see me and Monica at this week’s Say Wha?!

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    Last month, I got to perform on stage with a bunch of über-talented performers at the hilarious Say Wha?! spoken-word comedy event. I’m pretty excited that the producer has invited me to return this month to do another reading!

    Tod Maffin
    Tod and Monica Hamburg perform at the September Say Wha?!

    At Say Wha?!, engaging and charismatic performers put their comedic spin on some of the most cringe-worthy, embarrassing and painfully earnest writing in print; the result is hilarity. Say Wha?! was a part of the Vancouver Comedy Festival.

    In my September set, I read from two pieces: One, a selection from The Art of Manliness: Classic Skills and Manners for the Modern Man; the second, an instruction sheet from a very poorly translated card trick. I roped my friend Monica Hamburg (who had no idea she was going to be part of the reading) into trying to follow the card instructions.

    Not only will I be returning this month to do another performance, the producer of Say Wha?! loved Monica so much she was asked to do a reading of her own!

    Also performing:

    When: Wednesday, October 13
    Where: Cottage Bistro – 4470 Main Street @ 29 Ave [map]
    Cost: Sliding scale (suggested $10, minimum $5). Performers get a cut of the door.

    If you’re on Facebook, you can RSVP at http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=155187637837068

    Hope you can make it out!

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    So Much for a Secure Airport Area!

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    Sometimes I really don’t understand airp0rt security. I’ve been having boarding passes sent to my iPhone for a few months now and generally love it. I tend to lose anything in my pockets.

    It struck me recently, that the screen you show to the security people when getting your carry-0n bags screened is pretty easily faked. You just need any barcode and you can type in the info you need below it. This would be about a 30-second job in Photoshop.

    Save it to your cellphone and bingo — you’re into the “security” area.

    Why would this work? Because the person checking boarding passes to get you to the x-ray lineup doesn’t actually scan anything. They just eyeball it — they’re looking to make sure you’re flying on that date, and they wave you in.

    Of course, once you’re about to b0ard, they scan it and will figure out pretty quick that you’re using a fake screen.

    But that could still get someone dangerous into what’s supposed to be a very secure area.

    Is this something that hasn’t crossed their minds?


    Debunking the Myths of Earthquake Safety

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    I thought I knew the right thing to do in the event of an earthquake — dive under a car or desk, right? Apparently, no. Not according to an email making the rounds, ostensibly from the Rescue Chief and Disaster Manager of the American Rescue Team International (ARTI).

    Here in Vancouver, we live near a major fault line. We’re overdue by about 10-20 years for “the big one.” I thought I’d pass this along for anyone who lives in an area where an earthquake could occur.

    Myth: You should dive under a desk or car when a quake strikes.
    Reality: Most everyone who simply “ducks and covers” WHEN BUILDINGS COLLAPSE are crushed to death. People who get under objects, like desks or cars, are crushed. You can survive in a smaller void. Get next to an object, next to a sofa, next to a large bulky object that will compress slightly but leave a void next to it.

    Myth: If you’re in a “weak-framed” building, like a wood building, get out as fast as you can. Try to find shelter in a more stable building, like something concrete.
    Reality: Wooden buildings are actually the safest type of construction to be in during an earthquake. Wood is flexible and moves with the force of the earthquake. If the wooden building does collapse, large survival voids are created. Also, the wooden building has less concentrated, crushing weight. Brick buildings will break into individual bricks. Bricks will cause many injuries but less squashed bodies than concrete slabs.

    Myth: If you’re in bed when the quake hits, roll under the bed.
    Reality: Simply roll off the bed. A safe void will exist around the bed. Hotels can achieve a much greater survival rate in earthquakes, simply by posting a sign on the back of the door of every room telling occupants to lie down on the floor, next to the bottom of the bed during an earthquake.

    Myth: A safe place to be during an earthquake is under a door frame.
    Reality: Most everyone who gets under a doorway when buildings collapse is killed. How? If you stand under a doorway and the doorjamb falls forward or backward you will be crushed by the ceiling above. If the door jam falls sideways you will be cut in half by the doorway. In either case, you will be killed.

    Myth: Take the stairs during a quake — never an elevator.
    Reality: Never go to the stairs. The stairs have a different “moment of frequency” (they swing separately from the main part of the building). The stairs and remainder of the building continuously bump into each other until structural failure of the stairs takes place. The people who get on stairs before they fail are chopped up by the stair treads – horribly mutilated. Even if the building doesn’t collapse, stay away from the stairs. The stairs are a likely part of the building to be damaged. Even if the stairs are not collapsed by the earthquake, they may collapse later when overloaded by fleeing people. They should always be checked for safety, even when the rest of the building is not damaged.

    Myth: Stay away from the walls and outer edges of buildings during an earthquake.
    Reality: Actually, you want to be near the outer walls of a building, or outside of them if possible. It is much
    better to be near the outside of the building rather than the interior. The farther inside you are from the outside perimeter of the building the greater the probability that your escape route will be blocked.

    Myth: If you’re driving when the earthquake happens, stay in your car. Don’t leave your car for any reason.
    Reality: People inside of their vehicles are crushed when the road above falls in an earthquake and crushes their vehicles; which is exactly what happened with the slabs between the decks of the Nimitz Freeway… The victims of the San Francisco earthquake all stayed inside of their vehicles. They were all killed. They could have easily survived by getting out and sitting or lying next to their vehicles. Everyone killed would have survived if they had been able to get out of their cars and sit or lie next to them. All the crushed cars had voids 3 feet high next to them, except for the cars that had columns fall directly across them.

    * Bonus survival tip: If you’re in an office which has lots of stacks of paper, that paper does not compact. Large voids are found surrounding stacks of paper. It’s a good place to position yourself.

    Download my iPhone App

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    iphone_screen.jpgIn my ongoing quest to morph into Steve Jobs, I now have my own iPhone app. (It also works hella fine on iPod Touches.)

    It’s got my latest blog postings, tweets, and YouTube videos. You can even “favourite” items you’d like to read later. I’d have put more info into it, but, sadly, the iPhone’s tiny screen didn’t accommodate the size of my enormous ego. ;-)

    It’s very useful for killing time in airport lineups, showing to your kids as an example of how to not grow up, and opening once then deleting. :-)

    You can download it at http://iphone.todmaffin.com [link opens in iTunes].

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